


Promises Not Forgotten

by FlannelGuy51



Series: post-canon leopika verse [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Doctor Leorio Paladiknight, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Kurapika is a Self-Destructive Mess, Leorio is Gon’s Dad, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Yorkshin City | Yorknew City Arc (Hunter X Hunter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28126317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlannelGuy51/pseuds/FlannelGuy51
Summary: Kurapika hasn’t answered Leorio’s phone calls in over a year. He’s all but given up hope on ever telling him what he needs him to know...and then there’s a knock at the door.OR: Kurapika is beaten within an inch of his life and Leorio nurses him back to health.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Series: post-canon leopika verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082135
Comments: 8
Kudos: 96





	Promises Not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vikkurta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vikkurta/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY AREVIK!!!!! Absolutely cannot believe I wrote this (mostly) in one day out of sheer Will power. I hope you enjoy. To everyone else reading: enjoy this angsty leopika love confession fic.

Leorio was working just as hard on his homework as he was to rub the pain out of his head. It felt as though he’d been looking at these same three books for forever, finding an answer in one and writing it down on his homework assignment before cross checking the other two just to be sure it was correct. He didn’t  _ need  _ to get every answer right the first time—his professors would go over them—but he wanted to. When he was a real doctor, he wouldn’t have time for mistakes.

Even so, his patience was wearing thin, and his headache was making it increasingly difficult to concentrate. Thanks to a heavy storm—the worst the area had seen in years, according to the weatherman—the power was out, and Leorio had to study by candlelight. His eyes strained to read the pages, and his laptop was nearly dead. 

Leorio was more than excited when he heard his phone buzz. He stood (he often kept his phone on the other side of the room while studying so he could concentrate) and rushed to read the message awaiting him.

_ Maybe it’s… _ he thought for a moment. Then he stopped himself. It couldn’t be. There was no way. And yet each and every time his phone buzzed, Leorio allowed himself to live in that fantasy for a fraction of a second, wondering what that life would be like.

Kurapika had not returned his phone calls in over a year.

Leorio knew the same to be true for the boys, who always seemed to be willing to talk to him. Gon asked about it sometimes, naturally assuming that if Kurapika wasn’t picking up his phone calls,  _ surely  _ he would pick up Leorio’s.

“Do you think Kurapika’s doing okay?” Gon had asked just that past weekend, munching on a bowl of some dessert that Leorio had bought just for him.

“Of course he is,” Leorio had replied. “You know as well as I do that Kurapika is a busy man, I’m sure there’s a reason he hasn’t been in contact with us.”

That answer had been good enough for Gon; the boy had immediately launched into a new subject, hardly giving Leorio time to dwell on the last one. But now, as the medical student sat alone in his apartment with his books and his thoughts, he wasn’t even sure if  _ he  _ believed what he had told Gon.

They had never been out of contact for this long. The last time Leorio had seen Kurapika was...God, had it been since the airport? Since the day Kurapika left Yorknew City?

Leorio’s heart clenched at the memory.

He had tagged along with Kurapika and his coworkers at the airport, wanting to wish his friend goodbye. Kurapika hadn’t wanted to interrupt the boys’ training, so he’d only asked Leorio to go. At one point, Leorio had pulled Kurapika behind the group, and they had walked in sync towards the terminal.

Leorio had pulled out a slip of paper, writing as they walked.

“What are you doing?” Kurapika asked, watching the taller man with interest.

Leorio capped his pen and handed the piece of paper to Kurapika. “I’m not sure when we’ll be seeing each other again, since I know that work is unpredictable, but, um, if you ever have some time off, or you’re in trouble, or…”

“Leorio.”

_ Fuck, I’m rambling.  _ “This is my current address. In case you ever need it.”

Kurapika looked down at the paper and scrunched up his brow. “Why would I ever need it?”

Leorio had stopped then, dead in his tracks in the middle of the crowded airport.

_ Why would I ever need it?  _ he repeated to himself.  _ Has everything we’ve been through together meant nothing?  _ Leorio had just started to question whether or not his closeness with Kurapika existed entirely and exclusively in his head when the blonde called his name.

“Why have you stopped?” Kurapika asked. “We need to catch up with the others.”

“Right, right!” Leorio replied, forcing himself to laugh and walking faster to catch up with Kurapika.

When the plane had taken off, Leorio was sitting in the waiting area watching. He missed Kurapika already. As he pulled out his phone to text Gon and Killua where he was, he noticed something in the chair next to him where the Kurta had been. He picked it up, and his heart sunk. It was the piece of paper with his address on it.

_ I suppose he won’t miss me back.  _ Leorio had left the airport angry and confused.

In the months that followed, he found himself spiraling. Kurapika was all he could think about, or dream about, for that matter. Every one of his waking and sleeping moments, his heart ached for the man that hadn’t even kept his address. He hated himself for it.

But then he started medical school, and the time he had to think about Kurapika was shortened. He was up at ungodly hours of the night, sleeping in later than he ever had to make up for it, and absolutely swamped with papers, assignments, exams, classes, and emails. Despite all of it, Kurapika still visited him in his dreams, and the two of them ran across Zevil Island together. In those dreams, there was no Hunter Exam, no Phantom Troupe or Scarlet Eyes or anything to drive a stake between them. In Leorio’s dreams, it was just him and Kurapika. He had grown to despise waking up.

A loud clap of thunder snapped Leorio out of his thoughts and back to the present moment. He turned his phone on to find...a message from Killua. Leorio unlocked his phone and saw a photo of the boys together. Gon had mentioned he would be meeting up with Killua again after visiting Leorio.

_ We’ll visit together soon!  _ Killua’s message promised.

Leorio grinned and saved the photo. It would make for a great lock screen. Fellow med students always asked who they were, if he was their father, and he laughed before replying no.

“I would be proud to be, but they’re just friends,” he’d told someone just that morning.

Leorio stretched and looked at the time on his watch. 11:54pm. How had it gotten so late? But he needed to finish this assignment before bed.

“I guess I’ll brew some coffee,” Leorio said to himself, stepping into his kitchen and grabbing his coffee pot. He watched the rain fall as the water boiled, then prepared his mug before walking back over to his desk.

Just as he was about to sit down, there was a knock on the door.

“What the hell?” Leorio said, checking his watch again. It was just past midnight. Who the hell was at his apartment after midnight? Grumbling, Leorio walked over to his door. “It’s midnight, I don’t have time for any damn solicitors!” he called as he unlocked the door.

Leorio dropped his mug onto the floor and it shattered, spilling coffee everywhere.

“ _ Kurapika?!”  _ Leorio exclaimed. “Oh God…”

In his doorway stood Kurapika, though he was hardly recognizable. His blonde hair was a muddled dark brown, stuck to his face with water and blood. Leorio could hardly make out his features with the swelling and gashes that littered them, and his suit was caked with mud. Kurapika’s left arm was bent at an unnatural angle, and a huge cut was visible through pants that had been torn near to shreds. His right arm was clutching a jar like it was all that was keeping him alive. It was a miracle he was even still standing.

“L-Leorio…” Kurapika rasped.

“Kurapika, what—” Leorio started, but then Kurapika was falling. Instinctually, Leorio grabbed him, holding him up with all of his strength. “Kurapika!”

Leorio managed to catch the jar just before it hit the ground. In it floated a pair of scarlet eyes.

The Kurta was out cold. A million questions flew through Leorio’s brain, but he didn’t allow himself a second thought for any of them—he was a doctor, and Kurapika needed help.

Leorio tried not to mind the burning coffee and shards of mug that hurt his feet as he carried Kurapika to his bedroom. He put the jar on his desk and, gently, set the man down on the bed. He’d been so mercilessly beaten that it made Leorio feel sick. Anger and hatred at whoever had done this took over him for a moment before he forced himself to relax. Leorio grabbed his medical bag and got to work.

Kurapika stirred late the next morning, and Leorio sat up a bit straighter. Dark circles had formed under his eyes from a sleepless night, but he was more alert than ever.

“Kurapika?” Leorio said quietly. “Are you awake?”

Kurapika groaned and blinked a few times. “The eyes…”

“They’re fine, Kurapika.”

“Where am I?”

“My apartment,” Leorio replied. “It’s me, Leorio. Do you remember?”

“Leorio?” Kurapika moved his head around before he got a good look at his caretaker. “Leorio.”

“Good morning. Would you like some breakfast?”

“Not particularly,” Kurapika said, trying to sit up.

Leorio jumped to his feet. “No no no, don’t try to move! It’s too early for that, just lie back, try to relax. I’ll get some pillows to prop you up.”

Leorio crossed to the other side of his room to grab extra pillows. When he turned around, Kurapika was watching him in slight horror and pointing.

“What’s wrong?” Leorio asked, hurrying back over to his side.

“Your feet…” Kurapika said, “did I...did I hurt you?”

“What?” Leorio looked down at his feet, wrapped in slightly bloody bandages. “No, that was my fault. I dropped a mug on the ground and stepped on the pieces, that’s all.”

Kurapika made an affirmative noise and looked away. His injuries seemed even worse in the daylight. The swelling had gone up, not down, but at least Leorio had managed to bandage up his thigh and put his arm in a sling. The taller man adjusted Kurapika a little to place pillows behind him and sighed.

“Is that better?” Leorio asked.

“Yes, thank you,” Kurapika answered. He wouldn’t meet Leorio’s eyes. There were so many questions to ask, so many things Leorio wanted to say. But first, breakfast.

“Well, regardless of what you want, you need to eat,” Leorio said. “I’m gonna go to the kitchen and grab you something, I’ll be right back.”

Leorio left his bedroom and robotically walked into the kitchen. He’d imagined a reunion with Kurapika a thousand times. Meeting him in a park somewhere with the boys, a chance meeting on a trip somewhere, Kurapika surprising him on his birthday. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined Kurapika on his doorstep in a thunderstorm, bruised, bloody, and broken. Whether that made him an optimist or a fool, he didn’t know.

The sound of chains wrapping around something made Leorio jump and he ran back to his room, cereal bowl in hand.

“What the hell are you  _ doing?!”  _ Leorio exclaimed, setting the bowl on his desk and running over to Kurapika.

The chains disappeared and Kurapika slumped against the pillows. “Using...Holy Chain…”

“It’s way too soon!” Leorio said, pulling the covers up towards Kurapika’s neck. “You’re still beaten up from last night, Kurapika, you shouldn’t be using Nen yet. It’s only going to delay the healing of the rest of your body.”

Kurapika scoffed and wiggled his left arm out of its sling. “I fixed it.”

Leorio took the sling and set it back in his medical bag. “You’re an idiot.” He took a moment to glare at the Kurta before grabbing the bowl of cereal and handing it to him. “Eat.”

Kurapika took the bowl and the spoon and then paused, looking from the cereal to Leorio. “What is this?”

Leorio laughed a bit and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “Sorry, it’s all I have. I eat breakfast at school most days and sleep through it on the weekends. Gon was here a few days ago, and you know how he loves Fruity Pebbles, so…”

“Ah.” Kurapika gazed into the cereal bowl looking miserable.

It hit Leorio that Kurapika  _ didn’t  _ know that Gon liked Fruity Pebbles. How could he? He was never around. A flash of anger washed over Leorio and he clenched his jaw.

“I have to study,” Leorio said suddenly. “I’ll bring my stuff in here so I’ll be able to hear you if you need me.”

Kurapika ate in silence as Leorio arranged his materials and sat down. Much as he stared at his book, trying to finish the assignment he’d meant to finish the previous night, Leorio could think of nothing but the man behind him. Where had he been? What had he been up to? Why had he come to  _ his apartment,  _ of all places? For that matter, how did he even know where his apartment was?

After twenty or so minutes of trying to work in vain, Leorio turned around. At least Kurapika was eating. “Why did you come here and not to a hospital?”

“It wouldn’t have been safe,” Kurapika said, refusing to elaborate.

“Why not?”

Silence filled the room once more.

“Kurapika,  _ look  _ at me.”

For the first time since the Kurta had arrived, he raised his eyes to meet Leorio’s. His right eye was terribly swollen, and the expression on his face was one of chronic exhaustion, but their brown coloring made Leorio relax. Kurapika was still Kurapika. He was going to be okay.

“Kurapika…” he was almost afraid to ask. “What happened?”

Kurapika sighed and closed his eyes. “Does it matter? I’m alright.”

“Alright?!” Leorio stood and marched back over to his bed. “You took the beating of a lifetime, I’d hardly say you’re  _ alright  _ at all. I took you in and patched you up, I think you owe me some sort of explanation.”

Kurapika opened his eyes again, a pained expression on his face. He gazed out the window. “I ran into Nobunaga.”

Leorio was stunned silent.

“I was working a lead on the location of a pair of Scarlet Eyes,” Kurapika began. “Melody helped me track it down, but I wanted...I  _ needed  _ to go alone. She told me not to, since I was still injured from a fight with some security guards to get the  _ last  _ set I found, but I knew that if I didn’t go, I might lose the eyes completely. So I tracked the lead and made it to a warehouse. I managed to retrieve the eyes, but...Nobunaga was waiting for me.” Kurapika closed his eyes again and took a breath. “I was so busy using my Nen to protect the eyes that I was rendered defenseless. He said he wouldn’t have allowed me to live had it been a fair fight.” Kurapika smiled wryly. “But if it was a fair fight,  _ I  _ would’ve killed  _ him. _ ”

Leorio’s blood ran cold at the thought of Kurapika lying dead in a warehouse somewhere, nothing to show for it but a pair of eyes that belonged to no one. He imagined his broken body, Nobunaga standing over it laughing. How long would it take Melody to realize that Kurapika wasn’t coming back? Would she even think to contact Leorio, the boys? Or would he have lived the rest of his life waiting on the calls of a dead man?

Suddenly he was steaming, rage so intense that he couldn’t even try to contain it.

“You went  _ alone?!”  _ Leorio shouted, towering over Kurapika. “Alone, injured, without telling anyone exactly where you would be?! And then you used your Nen to protect the eyes and not you?! What the hell were you  _ thinking,  _ Kurapika?! Those eyes are worthless if you’re not alive to take care of them, don’t you know that?!”

Kurapika said nothing, just stared into his lap.

“Of all the reckless, stupid,  _ thoughtless  _ things to do! Fucking Nobunaga, I’ll  _ kill  _ the bastard! And you too if you ever do anything like that again, you hear me?! Oh, I could  _ slap  _ you right now! You’re lucky you’re injured, you asshole, or else you’d be in a  _ world  _ of trouble!”

Kurapika met Leorio’s eyes again. The sadness etched into his features made Leorio’s stomach drop. “If you’re looking for an apology, you’re not going to get one.”

Leorio growled and rubbed at his eyes, trying to think what to do. This was all wrong. He wanted to hug Kurapika, hold him, catch up with him, but so far all he’d done was yell. Leorio was about to apologize himself when he remembered Gon’s question that Saturday at the breakfast table, the naïve curiousness in his eyes. He needed Kurapika. And he wasn’t there.

No, Kurapika wasn’t going to get an apology either.

“You should rest some more,” Leorio said as calmly as he could. “You look exhausted, you need to sleep.”

Kurapika nodded and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable. He winced. “Are my ribs broken?”

“Bruised,” Leorio replied. “I’ll get you some ice packs when you wake up.”

It wasn’t long before the blonde was fast asleep. Leorio watched his chest rise and fall, his nose twitch every once in a while. The previous night, watching him had been agony. Even though logic told him that Kurapika was going to wake up, the fear that he wouldn’t was what took precedence. While he told himself he’d stayed awake all night due to Kurapika’s safety, Leorio wouldn’t have been able to sleep if he’d tried.

Now, though, Kurapika looked at peace. Leorio had always thought his blonde hair made him look an angel, and though he was hurt, he was just as beautiful as always.

_ I’m so glad he’s here,  _ Leorio thought. He kicked himself for that, but it was the truth. After an eternity, Kurapika had finally come home.

“How long have you been attending medical school?”

Leorio jumped a bit. He’d gotten so into his assignment that he’d nearly forgotten that Kurapika was behind him.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Leorio said, turning in his chair.

“Yes, I have been,” Kurapika said calmly. He was simply looking out the window, watching the cars go by on the road below the apartment building. Each of them had their own person inside, that person making their own choices and going their own direction, and yet dozens of them still chose to drive down the same street. Leorio watched them sometimes, too, almost entranced. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh.” Leorio, much to his chagrin, found himself blushing, and stood in hopes of making it go away. “Since Yorknew City. I’m completing my courses at about twice the speed of everyone else, but it still doesn’t feel like I’m going fast enough.”

Kurapika made an affirmative noise and turned to look at Leorio, who was now sitting in the chair next to him. “I’m sure after all of what we went through, medical school seems very slow.”

Leorio nodded. “Yeah, you can bet on that! What have you been up to?”

“Still working with Nostrade. I’ve traveled to more places than I ever would’ve dreamed of.”

“Oh, yeah?” Leorio asked. “Like where?”

Kurapika sighed and a smile fell on his face. “Last spring, Neon wanted to visit a garden far from where we’re normally stationed. It can get busy at that time of year, so Nostrade had us accompany him just in case. We got there, and there were hardly any people that day, so you could see the flowers stretch on for miles uninterrupted. There were tall ones and simple ones, some in gorgeous hues of purple or red and others you could find on any street corner in the city. Neon trotted through it like it was nothing, but...it was  _ beautiful,  _ Leorio.”

“You…” Leorio started. “You’re…”  _ It’s  _ you  _ that’s beautiful,  _ he wanted to say, but he stopped himself. “You’re...the same as you’ve always been, huh? Even after all that?”

Kurapika grinned. “And you’re the same cheesy moron.”

“Hey!” Leorio yelled, but it was all in jest.

Soon, the two of them were laughing, trading stories and jokes and quips all as if Kurapika had never left. It was only when the Kurta closed his eyes to giggle, scrunching up his nose and shaking with the force of his laughter, that Leorio’s heart clenched at the thought of ever having been away from him.

When Kurapika had finally stopped laughing, Leorio readjusted himself in his chair a little and smiled softly. “I missed you.”

It was like a switch flipped in Kurapika’s head. Any semblance of the smile he’d just worn, the laugh he’d just made echo throughout the room, disappeared without a trace. He looked back out the window.

Pointless anger boiled in Leorio again. What the hell was with Kurapika? One minute they were friends, the next he couldn’t even acknowledge that he missed him too? Maybe...maybe it was because he truly hadn’t.

Leorio was struck by the harshness of the thought. Sure, he’d considered it in passing that day at the airport, but it had just been rash anger, just a moment of self-loathing and loss. He’d always figured deep down that Kurapika  _ must  _ have missed him, that there was no possible  _ way  _ that Leorio had meant so little to him that he didn’t. It couldn’t be, right?

Perhaps he really had been played a fool.

“I’ll go make us some dinner,” Leorio said awkwardly, standing and stretching.

Kurapika gave a barely perceptible nod and didn’t look away from the window.

The following days passed in a similar fashion to the first, Kurapika getting stronger with each and every one. Leorio called in and asked a friend to let his professor know that there was a family emergency and he wouldn’t be able to come to class for a while. It wasn’t a  _ total  _ lie.

Leorio gave Kurapika an informal check-up each morning—he fought against this at first but eventually gave in—and in no time the Kurta was up and walking around. Well, more like limping around, and very slowly due to the nature of his ribs. At least the swelling in his face had gone down. Leorio suggested that he stay for at least a week to regain his health, and Kurapika hesitantly agreed.

Leorio let Kurapika have the bed, and he slept on the couch. It wasn’t any trouble at all, he assured the younger man; normally he fell asleep at his desk.

One morning Leorio awoke to find Kurapika reading a book at the kitchen table. It was one of his medical ones, something he’d probably dozed off to in the past, but Kurapika seemed utterly fascinated by it. Leorio rolled his eyes at the affection he had for the man.

As Leorio went to make a pot of coffee, he stopped and gave Kurapika a look. “Did you wanna shower? It’s been...four days, and if I had all that mud in  _ my  _ hair, I think I would’ve lost it by now.”

“Oh, yes, I’ve been meaning to say,” Kurapika said, closing the book. “Thank you for lending me your pajamas. I noticed you put me in them after I arrived and, um…”

Leorio found himself blushing again. It was all part of the job of course, but still, undressing Kurapika to dress his wounds had been a bit distracting. The med student cleared his throat and nodded. “Of course.”

“Right.” Before Leorio could wonder if the color on Kurapika’s face was him blushing, too, Kurapika moved on. “So where are my clothes?”

“Oh. About that…” Leorio set down the coffee and rubbed the back of his neck. “I had to throw them away.”

“ _ What?!” _

“They were trashed! Your suit was so caked in mud that I couldn’t even get it off, and your pants were held together by some lone threads. I was going to wash them for you but they just…sorry.”

Kurapika sighed and looked at the table. “It’s alright. I just really liked that suit.”

“Maybe next time you won’t go off and fight alone, huh?”

“Leorio!” Kurapika groaned and put his head in his hands. “Would you mind letting me borrow some more of your clothes?”

Leorio grinned. “Not at all. It’s a miracle to hear you asking for help.”

“I can still beat you up.”

“Just try, Pika, just try.”

All of Leorio’s clothes were far too big for Kurapika, but the Kurta didn’t complain. The closest thing the med student had to his size was an old shirt from high school and some sweats he hadn’t worn in years. He tossed some boxers and socks on top and Kurapika nodded his thanks and headed into the bathroom.

In the meantime, Leorio checked his emails, looking at what assignments he’d missed and who he needed to talk to to make them up. It seemed hardly any time had passed at all when the bathroom door opened and Kurapika walked back out, hair damp and finally blonde again.

Leorio couldn’t help but stare. The shirt was way too big on him, falling below his hips with the short sleeves loose around his arms. The sweats were so long, long enough that Kurapika was practically tripping on them trying to walk. He looked so cute that Leorio couldn’t control his smile, and the fact that Kurapika was wearing  _ his clothes… _

“What?” Kurapika asked, sitting down on the bed to read again.

_ You’re adorable.  _ “Nothing,” Leorio lied, “it’s just nice to see your hair color again.”

Kurapika grinned and rolled his eyes. Leorio ached not to tell him how beautiful he looked, how he daydreamed about him wearing his clothes, how nice it felt just to sit in the same room in silence with him. Leorio turned back to his computer and kept typing.

Leorio and Kurapika ran through a green field, the grass tall enough to swipe at their faces. There was something up ahead that they were trying to get to, but for the life of him, Leorio couldn’t remember what it was. The trees around them were sky high, taller than any he had ever seen in his life. He looked to his left. Kurapika was young, the circles that usually rested under his eyes nowhere in sight. There was no weight on his shoulders as he ran, no desperation in his body language. He was running just to run, just to be with Leorio.

Suddenly they were running past a stream. It was full of fish and small frogs, one Leorio distantly recognized that Gon would have loved. Gon had started asking him for a pet frog as of late, one that he could keep at Leorio’s house when he and Killua were off on adventures. Leorio had replied that he could have one if he promised to come home and take care of it every day. Gon didn’t even call him out on that impossible promise. He just laughed and said that he hoped he would be able to accomplish that some day.

None of that mattered now, though. Leorio was with Kurapika, and there was nothing else but the two of them. The sun was shining brighter than ever, and over the rush of water, Leorio could hear the Kurta laughing. They were laughing, and finally, they were free.

And then he heard the scream.

It was high and loud, breaking through the peace of everything and making him stop dead in his tracks. Everything went silent, even the stream.

“What was that?” Leorio asked, turning to Kurapika. “Kurapika?”

But Kurapika was gone. Before Leorio could even panic, he heard a scream again.

“Please, leave them alone!” the voice cried.

It didn’t take long for Leorio to recognize who it was.

“KURAPIKA!” Leorio shouted, turning in all directions to look for him. “KURAPIKA, WHERE ARE YOU?!”

With every running step Leorio took, the world seemed to crumble more. The shouting became louder and louder until the trees were reduced to dirt and the stream was bubbling over and—

Leorio sat straight up on the couch and hit his head on the lamp next to it. He whipped his head around, trying to figure out what was going on, and then he realized. A dream. It had all been a dream. He’d been dreaming of Zevil Island again. Leorio checked his watch: 4:27am. That was strange. His dreams of Zevil Island had never turned into nightmares before.

A scream pierced the air and his heart stopped. Not a nightmare after all, but reality.

Immediately, Leorio stood and ran for his bedroom. Who was there hurting Kurapika? Was it the Nostrade, angry at him for abandoning his post? What about Nobunaga, coming back to finish what he’d started?

Leorio felt his Nen grow stronger around him as he raced for the door. He threw it open, ready for anything. Or so he thought.

It wasn’t Nostrade, Nobunaga, or any member of the Troupe at all. It was just Kurapika, thrashing and writhing in the covers. He was covered in sweat, his arms and legs flailing in ways Leorio was sure were not helping his injuries.

“Oh, God, please, no!” Kurapika cried, flipping onto his other side again. “Please, take me, not him! Please! I’ll do anything, oh God…”

Leorio rushed over to the side of the bed, sinking to his knees. “Kurapika, Kurapika, hey…”

“Please, no,” Kurapika moaned, thrashing his arms around again.

“Kurapika. Kurapika!” Leorio took a risk and reached out, grasping the Kurta’s shoulders and shaking him slightly.

Kurapika gasped, his eyes shooting open. He threw his arm out and hit Leorio straight in the nose. The man doubled back, groaning, as Kurapika panted on the bed.

“Ow, damnit…” Leorio whispered. He rubbed his nose and gently reached his other hand back out to Kurapika. “Hey…”

As soon as his hand landed, Kurapika jumped and turned to face him. His eyes were still squinting a little from sleep, and he looked exhausted. Leorio couldn’t help but compare him to the Kurapika from his dream, the man that was young and happy and free to do whatever he wanted. The Kurapika in front of him hadn’t been that man in nearly a decade.

“L-Leorio?” Kurapika said, blinking at him and panting.

“It’s me, Kurapika,” Leorio affirmed.

And then, just like that, Kurapika was sobbing. His chest was heaving so hard that Leorio worried for his still-bruised ribs, but it couldn’t be helped. Tears flowed freely down the Kurta’s face, and he wept openly.

“Hey, Kurapika, hey,” Leorio whispered. Before he knew it he was on the bed, gently wrapping his arms around Kurapika. He expected to be told off, pushed away even, but Kurapika clung to him like a dying man. Leorio could feel warm tears seeping through his shirt, but he didn’t mind. He’d never seen Kurapika cry before, but he was glad that the man was finally allowing himself to. God knew the last time Kurapika had cried.

“I-I’m sorry,” Kurapika sobbed, “so sorry.”

“What for?” Leorio asked.

“I-I let them d-die,” Kurapika replied, clinging to Leorio harder. “All of them. Everyone I ever l-loved, or cared about...they’re all dead, and it’s my fault.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Leorio said, pulling Kurapika back to look at him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was,” Kurapika said, shaking his head vehemently. “If I had just been there, then—”

“Then you would be dead, too,” Leorio finished. “And that wouldn’t help anyone. Alright? It wasn’t your fault, Kurapika, it was never your fault.”

Kurapika didn’t say anything. He just kept shaking, and eventually Leorio realized he was shivering. Gently, Leorio pushed him back against the pillows and pulled up the covers, making sure to layer them across the Kurta carefully so he couldn’t get cold again. Eventually, Kurapika’s sobbing turned into quiet heaving. Leorio found himself petting Kurapika’s hair gently.

“Thank you, Leorio,” Kurapika said sleepily.

“Of course.” Leorio stood and stretched a little. “Let me know if you need anything.”

He was almost to the door when Kurapika spoke again.

“Leorio?”

“Yes?”

“Will you stay with me?”

Leorio felt as if he’d just been struck by a bolt of lightning. The question he’d been meaning to ask this past week, the one he’d been meaning to ask for the past couple of  _ years,  _ and Kurapika had beaten him to it. Not in that context, of course, but...oh God, he wanted Leorio to  _ stay  _ with him?

None of it was adding up. Kurapika leaving him at the airport and never returning his calls, never checking in with the boys and hardly looking at him, and now this? Seconds were ticking by and Leorio could hear his answer in his head: Yes, God yes, I’ve been wanting to ask you that for years, I’ll never leave your side again.

But as he stared into the dark room and thought about his past year alone, the year Kurapika hadn’t even bothered trying to spend with him, he imagined living it again, but this time with the knowledge that Kurapika had once asked  _ him  _ to stay and Leorio had, before Leorio had asked the same and Kurapika had failed to do so himself. He just couldn’t do it.

“Go back to sleep, Kurapika,” Leorio said into the darkness.

He felt his heart sank as he turned back around to face the Kurta. Kurapika’s eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling softly. Maybe he’d fallen asleep as soon as he’d asked, maybe he really didn’t mean it at all. That was probably it—delirium, exhaustion, the energy he’d just spent dealing with a nightmare fueled by trauma.

Leorio felt tears brimming in his eyes as he watched Kurapika lay there, haunted by the past and yet still chasing it. He had just asked for Leorio to stay with him for the night and he couldn’t even do that.

_ God, I’m such a failure. _

Leorio turned to go back to the couch again and hesitated a moment. Nothing that had happened between them mattered to him, not the silence or the fighting or any of it. Safe with the knowledge that Kurapika was asleep, Leorio took a deep breath and spoke a truth he’d never dared to rationalize: 

“I love you.”

He didn’t sleep again that night.

Kurapika didn’t bring up his nightmare  _ or  _ asking Leorio to stay with him the next day, and Leorio was fine with keeping it that way. It would’ve been awkward to talk through why he’d felt the need to pet Kurapika’s hair and hold him through his tears, and it would’ve hurt too much to hear Kurapika say he’d meant nothing he said.

The two of them sat together at the kitchen table, both eating sandwiches Leorio had whipped up and laughing about something one of Leorio’s fellow med students had said.

“I don’t think I would want him as  _ my  _ doctor,” Kurapika laughed, and Leorio grinned.

Just then, Leorio felt his phone begin to buzz. “Sorry, Pika, hold on a sec.” Leorio pulled out his device and smiled wider. He quickly clicked to accept the call and put his phone to his ear. “Who is this?”

_ “It’s Gon!”  _ shouted an overexcited voice on the other end of the line.

“Hm, ‘Gon,’” Leorio replied, stroking his chin. “Not sure if I’ve ever heard of him.”

_ “Leorio!”  _ Gon whined, and Leorio laughed.

“Hey, kid! I’m just messing around. Where are you?”

_ “Killua and I are staying in this huge city!”  _ Gon explained.  _ “It’s full of all these foods I’ve never tried before, and tons of animals, too! There was even a talking parrot!” _

“Really?” Leorio asked, standing and walking away from the table. “Did you say hi?”

_ “Yeah! It said hi to me, but it didn’t respond to Killua. That made him really mad.” _

Leorio laughed again. “Well, Gon, you’ll never believe who’s here.”

_ “Who?” _

“Take a guess.”

Gon made a humming noise before speaking again.  _ “It’s not Hisoka, is it?” _

“No! It’s Kurapika!”

_ “REALLY?!” _

Gon was so loud that Leorio had to pull the phone away from his ear. “Don’t shout, Gon, geez.”

_ “Can I talk to him? Please, Leorio?” _

“Of course.” Leorio held the phone out to Kurapika, but the blonde shook his head silently. Leorio mouthed some words, but Kurapika wouldn’t meet his eyes. Leorio sighed, his heart sinking into his stomach for Gon, and put the phone back up to his ear. “I’m really sorry, Gon, Kurapika can’t talk right now.”

_ “Why not?”  _ Gon asked, his voice failing to hide his disappointment.

“He’s, um...he’s working really hard right now,” Leorio said, rubbing his neck. “He’s doing some really important stuff, and I guess he can’t be bothered.”

_ “Oh.”  _ Gon was silent for a moment before he spoke again.  _ “That’s okay! Maybe he can call me later when Killua is here and then we can both talk to him!” _

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” Leorio said. He didn’t know how to tell Gon that Kurapika was chronically “busy” and would never be able to talk to him. “I’ll tell him you want to do that.”

_ “Okay! Oh, sorry, Leorio, I think a guy over there needs help! It was great talking to you, I’ll call you later!”  _ He hung up.

Leorio smiled and shook his head. Gon was so scatterbrained, but it was such an endearing quality that he couldn’t even be upset when the kid hung up on him randomly or interrupted him in conversation. That was just Gon, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

As Leorio shoved his phone back into his pocket, he noticed Kurapika again. He was just sitting at the table, staring blankly at his plate.

“What the hell was that?” Leorio asked, striding back over to the table and standing in front of the other man.

Kurapika said nothing.

“Gon wanted to talk to you!” Leorio exclaimed, slamming his hands on the table. “He just asked if you’ll talk later when Killua is there. He’s been asking after you for months, you know.”

“Has he?” Kurapika replied.

Leorio scoffed. “What, you’re too good to talk to Gon now? Is that too beneath you?”

“It isn’t like that, okay?!” Kurapika fired back, standing up. He wobbled a little on his feet, and Leorio had to stop himself from going to help him.

“Then what  _ is _ it like, huh?! Gon already has one missing father figure and you want to give him another?!”

Kurapika was dead silent again.

Leorio scoffed, brushing past him and smacking his shoulder. “I can’t believe you, Kurapika. You’d think you hate the kid!”

Leorio was just at his bedroom door when he heard Kurapika.

“Please...tell him I said hi.”

Leorio stared at the ceiling, his eyes burning. He’d given up checking the time on his watch ages ago. His body was exhausted, and his mind should’ve been, too, but he just couldn’t stop thinking. No matter what he did, his brain buzzed with some thought: the airport, Kurapika showing up at his door, Kurapika in his oversized clothes, the nightmare, the “stay with me.” Leorio’s own “I love you.”

After today with Gon, he almost wanted to take it back. He hated nothing more in the world than the sound of Gon’s disappointment. Unfortunately, he  _ loved  _ nothing more in the world than Kurapika. His groans of irritation, his stubbornness, his quiet little laugh, the way he drank tea all the time instead of coffee, his determination, how sweet and thoughtful he could be when he wanted to.

_ He hasn’t even talked to you in a year!  _ the rational part of Leorio’s brain screamed at him. But he just kept thinking about Zevil Island, them teaming up, the way that he and Kurapika and the boys had been a team. Who would’ve guessed that he would be nostalgic for the  _ Hunter Exam? _

As he continued to try to make his brain be quiet, Leorio suddenly heard footsteps on the floor. They were soft, yes, but noticeable. He shut his eyes quickly and waited a few seconds before opening them. Kurapika was standing at his front door. He was dressed in a nicer outfit, one of Leorio’s dress shirts and some black slacks. In his left arm he held the jar with the scarlet eyes. He was...leaving.

_ He’s not even gonna say goodbye?  _ Leorio thought angrily. He was about to get up, scream and yell and ask him what he thought he was doing. But then he stopped himself. It was the airport all over again. Leorio could make as many obvious gestures about wanting Kurapika to stay as he wanted, but if Kurapika was going to leave, then that was that. Asking him to stay was only going to make things worse.

Leorio watched who he thought might be the love of his life with tired eyes. He was so gorgeous in figure, the moonlight reflecting off his pale skin and making his blonde hair glow. He’d cuffed his sleeves so they didn’t hang too long and had done the same with his pants. Even in clothes many sizes too big, he still looked perfect. He  _ was  _ perfect, in every way except his tendency to leave.

_ So this may be the last time I see you,  _ Leorio thought. He hadn’t had the chance to kiss him yet, to memorize his body like it was the very world he depended on. He hadn’t told him everything yet, hadn’t done everything with him yet...and maybe he never would. Leorio took a deep, quiet breath, and closed his eyes.  _ Goodbye, Kurapika. _

Fifteen minutes later, Leorio still hadn’t heard the door open. Maybe the Kurta had done it very quietly, so quietly it was almost imperceptible. Leorio wouldn’t have been surprised, but for some reason, he didn’t think that was the case. Slowly, Leorio opened his eyes. No one was at the front door. Maybe he did leave after all.

Leorio got up and walked to his bedroom door. He peeked in, and there in bed asleep was Kurapika. What the hell? He stood there for a second, trying to make sure that he was seeing things right, but it was definitely the Kurta. Why had he decided to stay?

Leorio walked into the kitchen and noticed a crumpled up piece of paper in his previously-empty waste basket. He picked up and unraveled it. It was a note he’d meant to have been his last to Leorio.

There was no goodbye in it, no real apology, just four words:  _ Sorry about the clothes. _

Leorio crumpled it up and threw it away again. Somehow, it had made him even angrier.

It happened the next evening. The apartment had been nearly silent all day, with quiet meals and Leorio aggressively working to complete his med school assignments. Kurapika had been in his—no, Leorio’s—room all day reading, as if he had sensed the anger radiating off of the man. Hell, maybe he had, but Leorio didn’t care. After all of this, Kurapika had been planning to leave without saying goodbye.

Just as the sun was setting, Kurapika came out to get a glass of water. He stood on his tippy-toes to reach one on a high shelf, and Leorio would’ve thought it adorable in any other circumstance. Not today.

“So what happened last night?” Leorio asked, his anger betraying him and sleeping into his tone.

Kurapika remained cool, turning on the tap. “I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Like hell you don’t,” Leorio muttered. He stood up and grabbed the note out of the trash, throwing it straight at Kurapika. “‘Sorry about the clothes.’ Ringing any bells?”

Silence was starting to become Kurapika’s signature move.

“Oh, what? You have nothing to say?” Leorio marched over to Kurapika and crossed his arms. “I don’t know what’s happened to you, Kurapika! Since when do you treat everyone like shit? You have me take care of you but you never answer me, you treat Gon like a son and then leave him behind...what the hell?!”

“It doesn’t matter, Leorio,” Kurapika said, straightfaced.

“You mean  _ I  _ don’t matter, right?” Leorio fired back. “You know, I’ve waited over a year for you to come back. I’ve been patient, I’ve lied to Gon, I’ve tried to move on and I just can’t. I don’t even know why! In all this time, did you ever even  _ think  _ about me?!”

“EVERY DAY!” Kurapika shouted. The two men stood in silence. “I thought about you  _ every day,  _ Leorio.”

Leorio’s mind was moving at a million miles a second, but he forced himself to speak. “...Then why didn’t you come back?”

Kurapika sighed. “I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?”

“I couldn’t stand myself if I came back here before the job was done.”

Leorio scoffed and turned around, running a hand through his hair. “You selfish bastard.”

“ _ Selfish?”  _ Kurapika snapped. “It’s  _ selfish  _ to want to collect the eyes of the deceased members of my clan, to keep them safe?!”

“It’s selfish to leave your  _ family _ !” Leorio shouted, turning around. “Me and Killua and Gon! We needed you and you weren’t there!”

“YOU’RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME!”

Leorio rubbed a hand over his face. “Do you really believe that?” But when he looked harder, he noticed tears brimming at Kurapika’s eyes. Finally, Kurapika was telling the whole truth.

“It’s not just about the eyes,” Kurapika admitted, looking away. “Last night I should’ve left to keep you safe, but...I was weak. What I do is dangerous, Leorio. More dangerous than what happened in Yorknew, even. You saw what happened to me when I took on Nobunaga, and that was just one of them. It’s not just that I couldn’t stand myself if I couldn’t get the job done. It’s that I couldn’t stand myself if one of you got hurt doing it.”

“I understand that,” Leorio said, trying to keep an even tone, “but it’s  _ us,  _ Kurapika. Do you not trust  _ us?” _

“I don’t trust  _ them!”  _ Kurapika said. “The Troupe, the Spiders! They could hurt any one of you, and if you stay out of my life, they won’t!”

“So you’d sacrifice our little family without even asking us?!” Leorio exploded. “That’s not up to you, Kurapika! It’s up to  _ all  _ of us! And you didn’t even think to ask?!”

Kurapika was back to being silent again. He sipped his water coolly and looked away.

Before he could even think, Leorio was storming towards the door. “You know what, Kurapika? I’m going to leave for a while. If your plan is to run off and leave us behind again, I expect you to be gone by the time I get back.”

Leorio’s hand was on the doorknob, and then Kurapika said four words.

“I love you, too.”

It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. Leorio was sure that two sledgehammers had just collided in his brain, and he was left standing dazed in the aftermath. Slowly, he turned around. This couldn’t be real. And yet it was. Kurapika was standing, blushing—he was  _ blushing _ —next to the counter.

“What?” Leorio managed to get out through his haze.

“I think you heard me,” Kurapika replied quietly.

As always, Leorio allowed his heart to lead the way, and soon he found himself standing before Kurapika once again. Gently, he set his hands on the Kurta’s shoulders.

“I’m almost scared to ask,” Leorio started, “but what did you mean by ‘too?’”

“The other night, when I had that nightmare...after you told me to go to sleep…”

“You HEARD ME?!” Leorio exclaimed.

Kurapika nodded shyly.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?!”

“Why didn’t  _ you?”  _ Kurapika asked.

“You never gave me the chance,” Leorio replied honestly. “I mean, I just never thought you...felt the same way.”

Kurapika sighed and pushed Leorio away, setting his water on the counter and putting his head in his hands. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No, no,  _ I’m  _ the idiot,” Leorio assured him. “I mean, everything I just said! Kurapika, I’m so sorry, I—”

“Don’t you  _ dare  _ apologize,” Kurapika said icily. Leorio shut his mouth. “You’re right and we both know it. And I’m the one that should be sorry. And I am, Leorio, for everything, for the phone calls, and for Gon, and for almost leav—”

Leorio couldn’t stand to hear him speak for one more second. Without giving himself a chance to overthink it, Leorio grabbed Kurapika by the shirt collar and pulled him in for a kiss. It was everything he could’ve ever dreamed. Kurapika gasped a little into his mouth before relaxing, wrapping his arms around Leorio’s shoulders and resting them in his hair. They stayed like that for a moment, the soft touch of lips on lips, before they finally pulled away from each other.

Kurapika stared wide-eyed at Leorio. They were slowly turning red.

Leorio’s heart was beating faster than it ever had. He cracked a grin. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Kurapika laughed for a moment, before he sidled a bit closer. “My turn.”

Leorio’s brain fizzled out as Kurapika grabbed him and pulled him in for another kiss, this one rougher than the last. The kiss was deepening, turning into a dance of tongue on tongue, and Leorio could hear Kurapika’s breath getting heavier. Kurapika reached up to Leorio’s collar and started to undo button after button of his shirt. Leorio wanted this, he wanted this so bad, but…

Leorio pulled away from the kiss and Kurapika stopped immediately.

“What’s wrong?” the Kurta asked, his tone filled with worry.

“I just…” Leorio started. He sighed, his heart clenching. “I can’t. I can’t do this, Kurapika, I’m sorry. Knowing that you’ll be gone again in a few days and I won’t see you again for a year or more...I just couldn’t do it.”

Leorio collapsed into a kitchen chair and rubbed his forehead. Well, at least he’d finally done it. The man he loved  _ knew  _ he loved him, and he’d gotten to kiss him to boot. He’d been out of his mind to think they could’ve ever had a happy ending, and now he knew that. He just wished it didn’t hurt so damn bad.

As he sat there, trying not to cry, he suddenly felt Kurapika’s hand on his.

“Leorio.”

“Hm?”

“If I stayed, you know how dangerous that would be.”

Leorio looked up. Kurapika was looking at him fully seriously, his hand squeezing Leorio’s ever so gently. “Yes.”

“Not just for you, but for Gon and Killua, too,” Kurapika explained.

“Yes, I know,” Leorio said, standing.

“And you would...you would be okay with that?”

Leorio smiled. “Pika, I’m always happiest when I’m with you.”

Kurapika blushed at the nickname and shook his head. “I’m not happy about this, you know, putting you all in danger. But I...I can’t leave you again. Not now.”

“You don’t know how good it feels to hear you say that.” Leorio started working the buttons on his shirt again.

“Are you sure you want this?” Kurapika asked with concern. “After everything I’ve done to you, to the boys…”

“I’ve never wanted anything more.”

“But if something happens to them, to  _ you,  _ I don’t know what I’ll do, I’ll—”

Leorio pulled Kurapika in for another rough kiss. When they parted, the Kurta was breathless.

Leorio gave him a wide grin. “I can think of a few more pressing matters right now.”

Kurapika finally gave him an easy smile and pulled him towards the bedroom door.

Leorio woke up earlier than he had all week. He could tell by the orange-pink sunlight streaming in through his window. Hardly any cars were driving below, which was a shame. It was the most gorgeous sunrise he’d seen in years, and he thought everyone deserved to see it.

For a moment, Leorio panicked. Where was Kurapika? Had he left after last night? And then he felt it. Kurapika’s arm was tight around his waist, just where it had been when they’d fallen asleep that night. It shifted slightly, and he felt Kurapika nuzzle his back. Leorio sighed with relief. Kurapika was still here.

“Good morning,” Kurapika whispered.

“I’ve always wanted to hear your raspy morning after-sex voice,” Leorio quipped, and Kurapika swiped his shoulder and laughed. “Good morning, Pika.”

“God, look at the view,” Kurapika said.

They both started laughing again. The view in and of itself wasn’t much. In fact, a second apartment complex blocked more than half the window, so all you could see was a fraction of the sky and the cars below, but Leorio knew what he meant.

Even so, the med student flipped away from the window and faced the direction of his new lover. “I think I like this view better.”

Kurapika rolled his eyes. “You really are the same cheesy moron.”

“And you love me,” Leorio goaded.

Kurapika sighed with mock exasperation. “I do. I do love you.”

Leorio was sure he would never grow tired of hearing Kurapika say that. The two of them sat in silence for a few more minutes before Leorio spoke again.

“Wait,” Leorio said. “There is one thing I’ve been dying to ask you.”

“What is it?” Kurapika asked.

“How did you know my address? You left the paper I gave you at the airport.”

“Oh. Um…” Kurapika blushed. “I memorized it.”

Leorio gaped. “That fast?!”

“I thought it was important!” Kurapika defended himself.

Leorio shook his head and kissed Kurapika on the nose. “You really had me fooled for a while, making me think you didn’t care about me.”

“I know. And I really am so sorry, Leorio. That year away from you was terrible, and I imagine for you it was—”

“No more apologies, Pika, please,” Leorio said. “It’s all forgotten, really. I just...I’m so glad you’re here now.”

Kurapika smiled. “Me, too.” Kurapika pulled away from Leorio and climbed out of bed, searching around on the ground for his abandoned clothes.

“Where are you going?” Leorio asked.

“I have to call Killua and Gon,” Kurapika said. “Remember?”

Leorio relaxed. “Oh. Right.”

Kurapika pulled on his boxers and walked back over to the bed, kissing Leorio tenderly. “I’m not leaving you again, alright?”

“Alright.” Leorio watched as Kurapika headed for the bedroom door, the sun making him glow like an angel once more. This was better than even his wildest dreams. “Pika?”

Kurapika turned back. “Yes?”

“I love you.”

Kurapika grinned. “I love you too, Leorio.”

After Leorio killed Nobunaga the next time he saw him, he would have to remember to thank him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! More content to come soon I hope.


End file.
